I had to say goodbye to my grandparents' house today.
These last few weeks were sort of our steps to acceptance. We had to clean up the house for the buyer. We had to move furniture, we had to clean out the closets, we had to clean up the garden, ... We had to throw away all this stuff, with such great memories. I didn't know how much anger, pain and grief I still had left in me, since he died in June 2012. It made it all so very real.
I packed my things and I took one last look at the house. There were some tears rolling over my cheeks, I stepped into the car and decided I would never ever go back there.
My hero is gone and I will never get him back. It's such a cliché, but I will try to make him proud.
I miss him!
My grandmother moved out of her marital home this weekend.
The house was for sale from before my grandfather died, but a few weeks ago, we found a buyer.
We said she could stay in the house for as long as she lived, but she wanted to sell anyway. She had to many memories and she couldn't cope being alone. For the age of 82, she is quite healthy and active, so she wanted to move to the city where there's people, shops nearby,...
It totally makes sense, because the house and the yard (at the Demer, from my previous blog posts) is too big for her, there are no shops nearby and she can't drive a car and has to take the bus to get around, but my heart breaks when I'm thinking about it. It's weird that someone else will be living in a house where I grew up in, where there's so many memories.
I found it hard and awkward to visit her today in her new apartment. They had a dog, but she decided to give her away to the breeder where they had her from. My grandparents and the breeder were good friends, so it was no problem to give the old dog a shelter for her last months/years. My grandmother didn't want to take her with, because she barks to loud when she's out and so the neighbours would complain.
I saw her sitting there, in the same chair, but in another environment and without her beloved dog. It broke my heart! It was so weird! It made the death of my grandfather so very real for a moment. In the old house it felt like he was just in the next room and that he would walk in seconds later.
It's her new beginning and she deserves this. She took good care of my granddad when he was ill and she's happy she can take this step forward. I have to open myself up for this new situation and say goodbye to the old house. It will be a new chapter for me too, but I will never ever forget the lovely times!
x L.
